Definition of Having Your Cake and Eating It

Compliments of usingenglish.com:

This idiom means that you can't have things both ways. For example, you can't have very low taxes and a high standard of state care.


I am not saying it is hedonistic or anything like that to be in an open marriage. I think it definitely works with two open minded and communicative people. In my case, The Man decided to retain his right to an open relationship on religious grounds while withdrawing permission for mine on the same grounds. And I'm simply not having it. I can't stand when religion is used to further personal agendas.

So I am on my way out of this marriage trying to do so as delicately and amicably as possible because there are children involved. To further complicate things, we are in Africa in a country where homosexuality is illegal and punishable. It will take time, but I will make my way back home into the country that has recently shown me anything is possible.