Keeping It Real

As regards long distance dating. Upon reflection and wonder at how long I've been dating Kay (six months) and how I fall a little deeper every other day (being honest) ; I came to the conclusion that we not only work because we were simply meant for each other, but because we do things that keep it 'real' for us. As in alive and close to our hearts. This short list is primarily for me to refer to from time to time lol.

1. Texting is inexpensive and great for showing you care about the little things. A well timed text, say just before she's going in for a doctor's appointment usually wins her all over again. It has been our primary means of communication.

2. Phone Dates are a very nice option if played just right. The beginning of the date is what counts, because it's what sets the mood for the conversation. We talk about where we'd like to go, and build the atmosphere beforehand and arrange a pick up time. Life gets busy and distracting so I usually set my phone alarm to make sure I'm on time. Sticking to a script is not necessary lol. It's really about the atmosphere, and we usually don't even talk about the 'event' but keep our line of conversation to suit the occasion, say on exciting or very chill topics. These usually end in more than a good night kiss.

3. Email...good old email. I find that I do this less and less as time passes, except to send her songs and their lyrics. Mostly anything I want to talk about, I call to talk out, or simply wax poetic verbally. I write poems but I usually read them to her, and send a soft copy.

4. IMing is the second most utilized means of communication for us. While she's a work, this is a great alternative to texting. We carry on conversations throughout the day when she's not in meeting or at another location. Big props to her excellent multitasking. I worry about distracting her too much, but she says I'm energize her and as proof she's gotten two promotions since we started dating, with another coming early next year!

5. Talking on the Phone goes without saying. While talk time is not cheap over here, it's wonderful that free incoming calls are standard, as with all of Africa and Europe, so we're not paying two ways or limited by the person with the least amount of minutes left. I changed to her plan which offers free talk times. We usually arrange our dates for this time or for more important issues that need more than a minute and can't be accurately conveyed through chat.

6. Virtual Gift Giving is always fun! We shop often online and dream together about things we want both as individuals and as a couple, sometimes getting a better idea of the other likes, but mostly surprising each other with how well we know each other!

7. Parcel Post is cool for sending things to each other. Email eliminates the need for letters, so we usually reserve this for a collection of things we've picked up over the last few weeks or an item of clothing carrying our scent. It helps bridge the gap between the weeks we get to physically be together and reminds us that we carry each other everywhere we go. There's no national post service (very unreliable, things get stolen!) to speak of over here, so things are sent by transport services...think Greyhound.


I know there are greeting cards and all that that one can send online, but we both tend to appreciate original poetry and greeting cards. That isn't to say the occasional greeting card isn't a nice surprise especially when well chosen.