Things I Didn't Know

About Myself....or fully realize and most times simply dismissed. People have told me these things recently:

1. I don't know how to take compliments or criticism well...but I always listen and change my behavior immediately. (who smiles at criticism though? seriously)

2. I am a much stronger woman than I know

3. Sometimes I am so adamant about my point of view, people give in so there will be peace, although I am often right. (I didn't add the right part lol, they actually said it!)

4. I really should consider becoming a lawyer

4. I can be brash, although not in a bad way...but some people need that round about talk instead of directness.

5. I assume everyone is as tough as I am, so I need to take it easy with people.

6. Sometimes my words sting a little while after I say them, even when I'm being diplomatic.

7. Not everyone thinks through a scenario as fast as I do, so I need to give people time to come around.

8. I am not shy about admitting when I don't know something, or when I do.

9. I have a strong will to make people feel me, and they do, more than I know.

10. Although I incorporate and allow for a lot of grey areas, I sometimes put things as do or die situations when they don't need to be.

An example I was given: we could both be looking a blue object, and if I don't think it is blue, I will push and explain my point, etc etc until that thing eventually starts to look white to the other person.


There are probably some things I should work on right? I really don't see much of this in myself, but I suppose I can't because it's mostly how I affect other people. Of course I have many other redeeming qualities like paying attention to the small things and making people know that I really listen to them, and a penchant for remembering things they said in passing.

Some of this came from The Man, some from my co-wife (will explain later), some from Kay and some people I have only met briefly, mostly the part about being strong.

I'm convinced in some ways it's a cultural thing. People here, seem to talk in a round a bout way, and I don't see the point in that...why not cut to the chase and not waste anyone's time? But if you do that here you often burn bridges or make people uncomfortable. I chalk up to the infamous American brashness. I guess we are more time orientated, straightforward, cut to the chase kind of people.

Here you could spend a good couple of minutes negotiating over an item. Two minutes is a long ass time to me, to come to a price we all know is reasonable. BUT, I find that if I exercise patience, smile and use honey, I can get it even lower than that reasonable price and everyone is still happy. So I see the incentive. And people don't make eye contact when negotiating, often looking off somewhere or around a little...sometimes I am not sure they are talking to each other and have to ask. Sometimes I am not sure when the negotiating ends, I suddenly realize our things are being bagged and a friend telling me the final price. I am big on eye contact, and almost demand it non verbally sometimes, which dis-eases people.

There are things I have to learn and getting honest feedback has been a positive experience for me. I dismissed things until I started hearing them too often, although not in a mean way at all. Otherwise I could not have known how I affect people or make them feel. There are differences to take into account here and I will learn to respect that.

*Kay and I are ok about that last issue and will talk more about compromises when that time comes. I'm crazy about her...I couldn't call just anyone and start singing in my awful way just to make someone smile.